Again, I went into the interview with a bit of trepidation. (no clue as to what that word means)
I expected her to blow me out of the water with her smutty/ bathroom/body fluids talk, but no, she did not - DAMN!
She is lovely. (paid me a hundred bucks - American! Duh!)
She is kind. (that one was only twenty bucks - but still...American!!)
She is now my best friend. (*smiles* - ok, she doesn't know about this one yet, but I'm sure she'll be happy if I paid her - double, cuz it's Canadian - eek!)
Have a read, enjoy!
Pre-Interview Shit-chat: (just made that up now ßclever, no?)
Kris: dozed off while waiting
Mrs TheKing: Hi gorgeous
Kris: Hello! Is my camera on?
Mrs TheKing: Sorry I was late, had to pee. No!
Kris: He-hee...my window popped out...
Mrs TheKing: I just have you in chat
Mrs TheKing: How are you tonight?
Kris: Noooo camera...
I am...tired and bloated...js sorry...tmi
Mrs TheKing: Camera would be scary for me right now too. I have a pimple close to my eye
Mrs TheKing: It's creeping me out
Kris: I'm sure
Mrs TheKing: … and it hurts
Kris: Oh no
Mrs TheKing: It's okay, I'm a big baby
Kris: Is it close to that 'time'?
Mrs TheKing: No, I had my uterus burned like Darth Vader this summer
Mrs TheKing: So it doesn't act up any more. I hope I have heard the last from it
Kris: I actually saw that somewhere just recently...forgot..
Mrs TheKing: Tits okay
Kris: I had probs w stuff a few months ago… talked to a few who've also
Mrs TheKing: Seriously, being a woman can be complicated
Kris: Trufax. But I'm old...so nothing to worry about now, but...MENOPAUSE – eek!
Mrs TheKing: God help us, seriously, I think my family is scared
Kris: Hubs said he would send me away to an island far, far away when that happens...he's scared shitless
Mrs TheKing: Sounds like a bright guy
Kris: He's very smart, he loves you btw
Mrs TheKing: Does he? That makes him a genius
Kris: I'm sure I've told you that a hundred times...in reviews...yes
He finished Gynazole before me. He gave me a few questions to ask you as well
Mrs TheKing: Hehe- It is such a dude story Mr. TK loves it too - haha - awesome
Kris: Guys love bathroom humor *shrugs*
Mrs TheKing: I like it so much I should have balls
Kris: I know...are you sure...you don't?
Mrs TheKing: No balls. Anymore ( kidding )
Kris: shit..forgot again...
Mrs TheKing: I just have the humor of a 15 year old boy.
Kris: Wow been there...twice over (read: mother of 2 boys)
Mrs TheKing: Really? And you still find it funny? You are amazing
Kris: I know *smile*
I like the fact that boys/teens do not faze me in the least...
Mrs TheKing: It is like a super power for you
Kris: I grew up with 2 sisters and it was a shock to my system...let me tell you...
OK - I have patented schpiel that I say when we begin...well we kinda did already because I do not delete much of anything...so...
If...there is anything you do NOT wish to answer, please say "NO COMMENT, BITCH" or some-such journalistic mumbo-jumbo... got it?
Mrs TheKing: got it
Kris: And…if you're not nice...I will not edit your typo's and will add more typo's...
Mrs TheKing: hahaha
Kris: Just ask QuietRuby - she knows
Mrs TheKing: My betas would not be surprised
Kris: by the way...do you know her? She's weird, no?
Mrs TheKing: I know of her and have tweeted her, I like her
Kris: I actually love her... and tease her to no end.. I think she's got a crush on me.... sorry... moving on.
Mrs TheKing: haha
Kris: Unfortunately I was not into FF when you were posting Poughkeepsie...and I feel so bad I never got to read it...only the chap left there... so...I have read Gynazole, of course. :)
Mrs TheKing: Of course
Kris: I have never laughed so hard... and I've lost a few pounds of water, from crying... thanks
Mrs TheKing: awwww.. I love writing that crazy thing
Kris: It must have been a riot...
Mrs TheKing: I rarely laughed writing it, but I would crack up on the read through. I have a short term memory
Kris: Well, that was helpful then.
Mrs TheKing: It is, it is like I am a reader too
Kris: It is nice to know that it all works out in the end. That is actually awesome...I've done that, but it's the age thing...I've been amazed at the shit I've written
Mrs TheKing: Usually. That is the mark of a true writer.
Kris: Question #400:
When did you first read Twilight? Or have you actually read it? Are there Coles notes for it?
Mrs TheKing: Haha. I read Twilight before Breaking Dawn was written. So I had the three to tear through and then I had to wait like a few months for Breaking Dawn. I still have all my books on my nightstand.
Kris: So...timing wise...was it a year or two ago?
Mrs TheKing: Let me check
Kris: Sorry I have no clue when BD came out… I think I should perhaps know this *scratching head*
Mrs TheKing: 1-8-09 is when I wrote my first FF, so I am thinking I finished the series a few months before that.
Kris: Ok. Did you read it all once through, or multiple times?
Mrs TheKing: Once through, though I have looked back for details at times. And I really like them
Kris: (I've read it 8+ times *nose up in the air*)
Mrs TheKing: My favorite books of all time are the Harry Potter series
Kris: I kind of do as well. Harry Potter? Cool. I’ve never read any of those.
Mrs TheKing: WOW! You can totally quote them I bet
Kris: Nope. (#memoryfail)
Mrs TheKing: haha- there's that.
Kris: that's why I have to re-read them... otherwise...??? I'd forget why I'm in FF
oh wait...can't forget...there's always the Robporn getting tweeted....
Mrs TheKing: True… I feel like I know his face better than my own at this point
Kris: Are you a fan of RP?
Mrs TheKing: I am
Kris: I mean...do ya think he's HOT?
Mrs TheKing: But I don't have all the porn. He is beautiful and quirky
Kris: He takes a nice photo...js
Mrs TheKing: Seriously. He gives good face
Mrs TheKing: I think I really like his personality best, so sweet and funny. I love his commentaries
Kris: It is...he can laugh at himself.
Mrs TheKing: Oh yeah, he is a fun interview to watch for sure
Kris: we will return to that topic...a bit later...
Question #177 (I have a lot to get through)
Mrs TheKing: haha
Kris: Do you write in the nude? Or anywhere that might be considered...odd?
Mrs TheKing: I write in my head in the shower all the time. I am a Pisces so I think the water stimulates me
Kris: Ahh...you must take freaking loooong showers...
Mrs TheKing: I totally thought I did but then I timed myself today and it was 11 minutes. With shaving.
I work out plot problems in there a lot too. It's where I thought of Poughkeepsie's first chapter
Kris: Are you sure you're still a Pisces? Did you hear about the changes? And...11 minutes...pretty good.
I loved that first chapter...that's what bummed me out so...
Mrs TheKing: I did hear about the changes and saw the best chart on Ravelry which had new signs like "Balls" and upside down cat". I wasn't balls, which was disappointing.
Kris: I never heard about that.
Mrs TheKing: I will email it to you. Tits epic
How long did it take you...in hours, if you can estimate...to write Gynazole? And then, your others?
Maybe breaking it down to how many hours per day/week.
Mrs TheKing: http://community.livejournal.com/ask_me_anything/30446129.html
Oh my, well it took me exactly one year to write Gynazole. (Edward was so proud) I posted the first chapter 1.21.10 and the last on 1.21.11. But I had a lot of stops and starts on that one
Kris: Thank you. That's so awesome
Mrs TheKing: Poughkeepsie took me about 8 months. Crushed Seraphim was maybe 5 months?
Kris: Is Poughkeepsie a long one? (sorry for ignorance)
Mrs TheKing: Poughkeepsie was 160,000 words, which is about a 500-600 page book
Mrs TheKing: Crushed Seraphim was 54,000 words, which was like a 150-200 page book; Gynazole is something like 90,000 words. Chapter by chapter, it does not feel like that much.
Kris: Wow...you are truly an amazing author. I'm in awe
Mrs TheKing: Honestly I am so very lucky to have readers that are so fun to write for, they motivate every word.
Kris: *tears*...that's so sweet...honestly
Mrs TheKing: It's true. FanFiction readers are dare devils. They read on that crazy site and keep track of all these stories with the same names.
Kris: I have been wondering how that actually works...I was intro'd thru Twitter. How do they find good fics?
Mrs TheKing: Some of the brave and selfless fic dive, and just look through the vast options available at any given moment.
Kris: I can't imagine doing that...but that's just me...hate swimming.
Mrs TheKing: A lot find a fellow reader that provides good recs. I've done it out of curiosity and lasted maybe ten minutes.
Kris: Ha ha
Mrs TheKing: There is some weirdness out there. Which is exactly what FF is for, experimenting.
Mrs TheKing: I hope you have a question #666
Kris: Do you have an educational background in literature? I know that you're a teacher, right? Is that where it stems from? (no...never 666!!)
Mrs TheKing: haha
I have my BS in Political Science. And I am a stay at home mom that substitute teaches now that the kids are full time school. I always wanted to write, but I was way too scared.
Kris: So FF is your very first attempt?
Mrs TheKing: Yes. I did write some true trip reports on a Disney Site. But my first fiction anything was here in Twi land.
Mrs TheKing: Edward just seemed like such a safe character. The anonymity was inspiring as well
Kris: That is a good point.
Question #665… now I forgot...
Mrs TheKing: haha
Kris: I used to make notes...but they always got ruined ...so ...I wing it
Mrs TheKing: I love wings.
Kris: They're great... that little meat...yummm
Mrs TheKing: Clears the sinuses
Kris: Clogs the arteries...I'm no fun
Mrs TheKing: They make defibulators ( spelled wrong)
Kris: true that... I'll fix it...don't worry *burst out laughing* (couldn’t help myself)
Mrs TheKing: I feel like I can totally trust you.
Kris: *polishes halo* yes, you can...
Mrs TheKing: Awesome.
Kris: I'm an editor (at heart)...so I catch EVERYTHING!
Mrs TheKing: Good news. Me and ed-tit-ing are not friends.
Kris: Question …# 66…7 (got your hopes up, huh?)
Mrs TheKing: I did.
Kris: But you have friends who help...that's nice.
Mrs TheKing: I have had amazing betas
Kris: Who are your betas?
Mrs TheKing: Currently shalu. Feisty Y Beden and Sleepy jo were before her.
Kris: Oh...have read Feisty's fic...
Mrs TheKing: Amazing, right?
Mrs TheKing: She is insanely talented.
Kris: It was one of the first bunch that I read...
Mrs TheKing: You should check out shalu as well she is usually Jasper/Alice
Kris: Ok…will do :) I love getting rec's from other awesome authors...
Mrs TheKing: Aww. Me too.
Kris: That's probably why I've read what I have read.
Mrs TheKing: You can find pure gold in this fandom, for sure.
Kris: Oh…no kidding...
Mrs TheKing: Unlike the turd that is GYNAZOLE. It's the pimple on the eye of the Twilight world
Kris: Don't beat yourself up...it'll be fine... you've got that pimple near your eye on your mind, huh?
Mrs TheKing: It's so close to my mind
Kris: Just pop it.
Mrs TheKing: or what's left of my mind. I can't tits not ripe yet… ewww
Mrs TheKing: Speaking of GYNAZOLE
Kris: Jinx… Yes, let's!
Mrs TheKing: I am writing le Jasper and Queen Alice's wedding for the Fandoms Fight the floods.
Kris: REALLY?? AWESOME!!!
Mrs TheKing: I was writing it in my head in the shower. OH YEAH
Kris: LET'S SHOUTY CAPS THE REST OF THE WAY...
Mrs TheKing: The Taco Bell dog is going to make an appearance.
Mrs TheKing: Tit will be awful. I can't wait to write it
Kris: CAN' WAIT TO READ IT… sorry...
Mrs TheKing: …because French Jasper will get a bit of Spanish to his dialect.
Kris: Ohh nooo...that'll be...hilarious...I'm sure. Do you have a dialogue coach for that?
Mrs TheKing: No, I pull that out of my ass and Google translator.
Kris: Excellent - works for me.
Mrs TheKing: Very good
Kris: I'm writing for that as well...and... wait for it...
Mrs TheKing: oh no
Kris: Hubs has written a o/s as well...it has cats... nuff said?
Mrs TheKing: YES! That is awesome… too amazing. Good on you for writing for this as well
Kris: Teaser: Edward with crowbar
Mrs TheKing: woof
Kris: … Bella meets an air marshall
Mrs TheKing: Very cool
Kris: Hubs is a nut as well... that's probably why he loves your stuff
Mrs TheKing: I love nuts.
Kris: No offence… watch it!
Mrs TheKing: Please girl, you've read GYANZOLE - you have to know I never take anything seriously.
And I am a nut.
Kris: I'm...innocent *remembers halo*
Mrs TheKing: Of course. What is your hubby's question? I am dying to know.
Kris: I was worried about offending you. ok…just a sec...
Mrs TheKing: Very few guy readers
Mrs TheKing: That admit to it anyway.
Mrs TheKing: I have a handful of husbands that read.
Kris: I've been trying to get him to sign up on FF so he can review... but we keep forgetting login info - we're both old.
Mrs TheKing: Haha - I hate logins. When my computer refuses to put my stuff in for me I get angry.
Kris: Yeah...just started using Chrome instead of Explorer... it’s better because it remembers that shit
Mrs TheKing: Yes! It does.
Kris: Took me a year...
Mrs TheKing: haha
Kris: Question 190, 66 ½ - hah!
Mrs TheKing: Great.
Kris: I read on one of your blogs that you were publishing Poughkeepsie...?
Mrs TheKing: I have a completed manuscript. And I will have it published one way or another (or news) this year. Right now it is with two different agents. Well, if any agent likes it, that could take a great deal of time.
Kris: That must be an interesting process
Mrs TheKing: But the longer they take, the less I'm feeling like that route is the right one. It is frustrating and has a steep learning curve.
Kris: I sure hope so...would LOVE to read it...
Mrs TheKing: I promise it will be available, I have a few things working.
Mrs TheKing: And thank you for wanting to read it.
Kris: Question #3
Mrs TheKing: haha
Kris: Why did you first read Twilight?
Mrs TheKing: I love to read and I had heard good things on the Disney website that I was writing my trip reports on. I'll read anything
Kris: Hmm…so…it was linked into Disney?
Mrs TheKing: No, the ladies on the forums were chatting about the Twilight stories
Kris: Ohhh...I see
Mrs TheKing: I actually got kicked off that board for my FanFiction because it was considered porn
Kris: No way!
Mrs TheKing: Yes way!
Kris: What exactly did you do on that forum? Dare I ask?
Mrs TheKing: I just had a link to Poughkeepsie in my signature. They did not like.
Kris: Wow...and they found it?
Mrs TheKing: They were diligent.
Kris: Disney ...gotta love 'em… I guess
Mrs TheKing: I actually love going to Disney, but I am not really family friendly entertainment.
Kris: So...Poughkeepsie...is...porn filled?
Mrs TheKing: No. It is/was rated M - there were a few lemons, violence, cursing.
Kris: Hmm...ok...can't wait.
Mrs TheKing: haha I love you
Kris: Careful...I'm clingy...give me an inch...
Mrs TheKing: That's okay, I love company
Kris: You'll never get rid of me...srsly
Mrs TheKing: Tits okay, really
Kris: You'll have to change your name.
Mrs TheKing: I need someone to talk to the voices in my head
Kris: You have them too?
Mrs TheKing: Many. Some sing
Kris: It'll be a party… with music.
Mrs TheKing: w00t!
Kris: Woo-hoo! Yip-yip… I hope they know Carry Out by J. Timberlake...my fave.
Mrs TheKing: Is that new?
Kris: Noooo.... maybe last year... it's really cool.
Mrs TheKing: Right now they are singing Dave Matthews. I will have to check out Carry out. hehe
Kris: Great vid – hot!
Mrs TheKing: Excellent.
Kris: I'm eclectic, but still old.
Mrs TheKing: I always add to my writing playlist.
Kris: Yes…love to listen while writing...
Mrs TheKing: Me too!
Kris: I actually have earbuds in right now...but no music...so used to wearing them I don't realize they’re in any more...haha. I feel stupid.
Mrs TheKing: I bought new ear buds at Wal Fart tonight. My cat eats them.
Kris: Oooh...how was Wal Fart?
Mrs TheKing: Sucked. As usual.
Kris: I read your blog post today...how you phoned them… (Note: research ;p)
Mrs TheKing: I am always in Wal mart… I was so mad
Kris: I have to go tomorrow...they carry my fave chocolate bar.
Mrs TheKing: Bastards.
Kris: So did they eventually open up more registers?
Mrs TheKing: They did open one more - she was faster. Tonight I bought a DVD player, ear buds, soda and yoo hoo
Kris: What is 'yoo hoo'?
Mrs TheKing: OMG. Yoo-Hoo baby! It is a chocolate flavor drink. My girl loves it.
Kris: *looks at your answer like you must be from Mars*
Oh...it's American...I live in Canada - you guys get all the cool stuff
Mrs TheKing: The 51st state - totally.
Kris: Yes... but… no perks.
Mrs TheKing: haha
Kris: Except health care.
Mrs TheKing: You have health care, right? Great minds.
Kris: I feel so special now.
Mrs TheKing: Health care is nice when something hurts. Can you tell my sleep meds are kicking in?
I have about ten more minutes before I only speak drool and fart
Kris: It’s awesome...I don't know how you guys do it...must be scary if you don't have insurance...you took meds? Oh great...
Mrs TheKing: I always take meds. I can't sleep without them.
Kris: Too bad…I never have probs.
Mrs TheKing: I learned that writing Pough… Lucky
Kris: I stay up late...really late… last night - 3
Mrs TheKing: I think too damn much. I spend all day with zero going on, then I lay down and think about bills.
Kris: I used to…think about bills, then said ‘fuck it’ and let everything go. Hubs does it.
Mrs TheKing: Do you write at night? Twitter is great for insomniacs.
Kris: Not really...Twitter...
Mrs TheKing: Really, I totally get that.
Kris: My TL is pretty dead tho... have to find some more to follow in UK and OZ I think.
Mrs TheKing: Someone is always awake on Twitter. Totally. The international girls party all the time.
Kris: So...just tell me if you'd like to stop...or I'll know by no reply that you've fallen asleep, I guess...
Mrs TheKing: haha - When my keyboard explodes.
Kris: But I'll only wait like...5 minutes...ok?
Mrs TheKing: Are you writing for Foxy Fics? No worries, baby I will let you know when I fade.
Kris: No, what is that? OK.
Mrs TheKing: Ahh. Foxy Fics is a blog that is trying to raise money for the Michael J. Fox Organization to fight Parkinson's.
Kris: Oooh...that'd be good.
Mrs TheKing: I spent all day today.
Kris: When is it due?
Mrs TheKing: Writing chapter 2 for Shackled ( due Feb 20)
Mrs TheKing: Totally, a great cause.
Kris: But am on the list for SFFR's thingy...for September.
Mrs TheKing: Great!
Kris: I did one for their Christmas o/s's
Mrs TheKing: That is awesome.
Kris: Enough about me...omg...so stupid...
Mrs TheKing: I love you!
Kris: You're very nice.
Mrs TheKing: No, I'm a freak show – haha
Kris: I love a good freak show.
Mrs TheKing: Well you have front row seats.
Kris: and...remember...I hold all the power...for editing.
Mrs TheKing: True that.
Kris: Mwahahahaa (I really hate that...idk why)
Mrs TheKing: I could always write you as a character in GYNAZOLE
Mrs TheKing: It is the ultimate punishment
Mrs TheKing: I did it to GIN and Icy
Kris: I remember!
Mrs TheKing: and some poor dude I taunted on Twitter
Kris: That's funny...
Mrs TheKing: He and I still chat
Mrs TheKing: He and his wife have two kids. I dared him to read - he did it!
Kris: And...loved it, right?
Mrs TheKing: He did love it, but he was a dude - dudes love farts
Kris: eyeroll yeah... ohh...I thought I'd never hear the end of farts...with my sons...
Mrs TheKing: I have IBS so sometimes I can make a fart sound like I am choking Sasquatch out with an air horn
Kris: giggles You have a way with words...did anyone ever tell you?
Mrs TheKing: I've been told. No one ever said it was a good way
Kris: Question # 9
Does it just pop into your head and down onto the page.or do you have a cheat sheet?
Mrs TheKing: Pop pop haha
Kris: Oh...almost forgot hubs' questions...
Mrs TheKing: Poor guy
Hubs: #1 (pfft...he thinks he's hot-shit)
Inspiration. From Muppets to knitting little sweaters to keep sperm warm. Who is your favorite Muppet and why, and where can we get a pattern for the little guys.(didn’t know they got cold) and finally Where do you come up with these ideas?
Mrs TheKing: Favorite Muppet is Animal. The best ( they have a youtube show now that is amazing.) Are you a knitting dude, because that rocks! I can't reveal the pattern because it is patent pending.
The ideas fall out of my head and onto the keyboard - like ear wax
Hubs: #2: Product placement. Slim Jims. Please elaborate. I really feel like buying some I hope you get a commission.
Mrs TheKing: I do not get commission. Snap into a Slim Jim if you dare. Those things are nasty, butt I love them.
Hubs: #3: How long did it take you to write this? And what was your first Lemon you ever wrote about?
(I'll have to apologize for asking his question - oh brother)
Mrs TheKing: It took me one year to write the stupidity that is GYNAZOLE. My first lemon was in Poughkeepsie and I was scared. I put Lying in the Hands of God on and just prayed.
Kris: Oh, I'll have to check out that song...
Mrs TheKing: It is perfection
Kris: I hate writing lemons myself
Mrs TheKing: They are not my fav either, but my motto is "write what scares you" and they scare me so I have to put them in every story. Just today I wrote a BJ
Kris: oh...no... I beta for a friend and she said that she has one coming up...eek! I do not think I'll ever write one... How did it go, tho?
Mrs TheKing: Went great for him.
Mrs TheKing: It was needed. For the Foxy Fic actually.
Mrs TheKing: And there is an evil bastard in it too who puts it to all the ladies
Kris: Sounds ...fun
Mrs TheKing: I hope so!. I am almost drooling
Mrs TheKing: How are we doing on your questions?
Kris: Only 792 to go...so..great!
Mrs TheKing: haha
Kris: Shouldn't take too long.
Mrs TheKing: Awesome
Kris: No really...I will let you go...for now...
All right...THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR ...oops...for your time...
It was great and I do love you too,.not just the hubs, I mean, hubs loves you. AND I love you.
Mrs TheKing: Awww
Kris: I shared you with him
Mrs TheKing: I am a huge fan of you both, thank you for asking me, this has been so much fun
have a great night!
Kris: You as well ;) mwah